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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Being Naked

So I was talking to  andy17777 in an email and he asked me why I had a fear of exposing myself in semi public situations.  I wrote back to him that think my fear or self-consciousness about my being naked in situations has somewhat subsided but many times it rears its head!  I think alot of it came from growing up in my household.  The dynamic was three guys(me, my brother and my Dad) and three girls (2 sisters and Mother).  When I was little, I clearly remember taking showers with my Dad and brother and being naked with both of them.  But my sisters are both younger and when they came along suddenly it was taboo to be naked in my house.  I think it was because of girls vs boys bodies and also the predominant 60's-70's conservative society.  I think also lot of it was that I was not exposed to nudity at all till I was about 13 and going to PE locker rooms.  The only other dicks I had seen besides mine was my brother's and his was HUGE in relation to mine!  He of course was much bigger and a few years older then me.  I guess I built up in my head that all guys were his size and I was the small guy.  It did not help that my best friend at the time also felt the same way I did and we talked about it with each other.  We mutually agreed that we had the smallest dicks on Earth and then agreed to show each other our junk!  His was indeed smaller than mine in width but not in length.  So imagine our horror when I learned that we would be taking showers with other guys in PE class!  That experience confirmed that we did, indeed, have the smallest dicks on Earth!   I guess that was engrained in my head and I just thought it was taboo to be naked in semi-public situations.  I know that sounds stupid but there it is!  In college, I had roommates that were very open about their bodies and we were naked alot but I was extremely comfortable around them and knew that I was "safe" in their presence....I guess I knew there would be no judgement from them!  That is crazy right?  Anyway, fast forward to about 8 yrs ago, me and a buddy joined a gym....it was the first time I had changed in front of a guy since college.  My friend was hung and had a nice body.  The first day we met in the locker room, it was mental agony as I knew I would have to strip in front of him!  He never said a word and to be honest, was probably not the least bit interested...but that did not change the fact that I thought everyone was staring at me!  Anyway, I guess it became something that I wanted to overcome so I would "force" myself to take showers in the locker room till it became no issue with guys seeing me naked.  And this past summer I went to a gay campground on a clothing optional weekend....I again "forced" myself to be naked and walk thru the campground at night and then again in the day time.  It was very liberating to realize that my hangups were really just that.....just mine and no one elses!  I guess, just as all guys do, analyze my cock and balls way too much.  If I had lower hanging balls then my cock would hang down more....basically it is usually just the head and few inches sticking out over my balls.  I would really like it to be more like yours...where the head hangs below the ball sack!  But I have come to realize that it is what it is!  My son, who is 12, does not have this problem and is going to be a good looking kid in that department.  He actually is slightly embarrassed that his is longer then the other guys his age!  We have had this discussion a few times and I am trying to instill in him that it is OK to be naked and see each other as long as it is not offending anyone else and it is not sexual in nature.  I wish my Dad had told me that when I was 12!   I guess you blame everything on your parents!