Am I Gay?

So it is raining and I am in the mood to blog....someone asked me earlier this morning if I were gay?  I often bristle at that question....not because I am ashamed of anything but because being gay is a such a small part of who I actually am.  I am many things and gay happens to be one of them.  But I do not think I could be defined as gay in proverbial sense of the term.  I mean, I do like guys and everything about them. I do not think I "act masculine" .... I think I AM masculine.  I think, walk, talk, and act like me!  not anyone else, just me.  The gay pride week was in Lake Worth this weekend and I was simply amazed at all the walks of life that were there.  Many, many, many guys and many of them were just like me and many were not.  I think a few wore their sexuality on there shoulders and it was hugely....what they are.  And there is nothing wrong with that fact....it is just not me!  Others, like myself, feel comfortable being around gay people but really do not "fit in" completely to that crowd as I dont relate to the clubbing scene.  Again that is not to say that "all gay guys go clubbing till all hours of the night"...simply, I think that alot of what worries other people, does not worry me!


I have a very good friend(since I was 16 yr old) who is very religious and struggles with his sexuality every single day.  He is married because he is supposed to be.  He has kids because he is supposed to have kids.   He is a professional because he is supposed to be.  He is miserable and wants to know why?  It is because he is not living his life being comfortable how he is.  I know he struggles with his sexuality because he has told me many times that he has issues with my lifestyle(even though I have not been with anyone in a long time!)  and that he does not believe that is correct.  He asked me one time, what happens when we get to Heaven and you find out that it was NOT OK to be gay....what happens then?  My answer is that no cant predict those things and you have to have Faith that you are being guided properly....I simply know this:  God made me who I am, and God would not have created me as gay IF it were not OK....simple philosophy!  As of late, he has lost his job and now is questioning why my life seems to be going smoothly and his life is soo bumpy.  My answer again is that I think I am walking on the right life path and he is not.  I have told him a few times that I dont understand how he can question my sexuality, think it is wrong but, at the same time, wonder why my life is going so well and his is not.  He has no answer for that.  I think he knows, he just does not want to face the answers....which is resolve to be who you are, no one else....and then you will be happy and get on that right path....whatever that path may be.