A nice way to spend Christmas evening....perfect, in fact.



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Guys in Trucks

So South Florida has been hit with a cold wave....it was in the 50's when we woke this morning and today has been a perfect day in the low 70's.  Weather like this reminds me of living in Tennessee in the Fall when the guys were pull out there plaid flannels shirts and Carthart jackets for the season.  There is nothing

hotter than guys in that attire riding around in their trucks!  There was a guy this morning going down the interstate in a green F-150 truck...short hair, masculine features and really nice looking.  He looked over and smiled....made my whole day!

Your Brother and His Junk

So I follow a website that has a forum for guys to ask questions of other guys on almost any topic.  This one dude asked what the difference between a m/m or m/f blowjob if it is just getting off...no emotions or aftermath.   The guy said at the end of the question that he had oral sex with his brother for years when they were teens and college years...but that both were straight and now married.  Everyone basically bite his head off that oral sex with your brother was horrible and that was the reason he felt same sex blowjobs were OK.  I have to say that I never did that with my brother but we did have a really close relationship and were naked around each other all the time.  We even slept in the same bed naked when we shared a room in college.  It wasnt sexual in nature at all...it was my brother!  Now dont get me wrong, my brother was a lady killer and has a nice set of jewels between his legs but there was no interest.  About the most we ever did was jack off together watching pornos!!!  So I then have to ask, is it really really incest?  I mean it is sex with a relative but in terms of procreation, babies are not going to spring forth....so is male/male sibling oral sex incestuous?  I would like to pose this question to that group but am soo afraid I would get my head ripped off!

Constant Amazement

A few things.....Fall has arrived in the sunshine state!  Yeah.....hopefully it will stay nice and cool for a while.

I was sitting in my office this morning doing paperwork when in comes a guy with his wife.  I looked at them both thinking, I know the guy from somewhere but cant place him.  He basically said the same thing to me...I know you from somewhere but cant decide where!  So  we discuss there needs and as I am talking, like a light bulb being turned on ... it hits the guy!  We had a one night deal a few weeks ago....I had figured it out about a minute before he did!  Dude suddenly is nervous beyond words and his wife notices....she says what is wrong and he just blows it off with "I forgot to do something at the office".   The end of the deal was that they bought a system from me, I got a great blowjob(a few weeks back) and he smiled and said "we'll talk" on the way out the door!  I wonder if he thought I was going to say something to his wife? WTF? 

Read this other blog everyday....today's subject matter was pissing in the shower...do you do it or not?  I was pretty amazed that guys are that worked up about peeing!  We are guys...that is what we do!

Craziness in my life

Wow...my life is taking turns that I could never have imagined a months ago but it is all good and I am soo happy for things that are happening.  Today is the first time in a long time that I had a day of nothing...which is just what I needed.  I have watched LSU/Auburn and tonight is Alabama/TN so I have my games and am happy.  Went to Las Vegas last weekend and had a blast.  It was nice to get away and see the season change there but there is nothing like home!

Being Naked

So I was talking to  andy17777 in an email and he asked me why I had a fear of exposing myself in semi public situations.  I wrote back to him that think my fear or self-consciousness about my being naked in situations has somewhat subsided but many times it rears its head!  I think alot of it came from growing up in my household.  The dynamic was three guys(me, my brother and my Dad) and three girls (2 sisters and Mother).  When I was little, I clearly remember taking showers with my Dad and brother and being naked with both of them.  But my sisters are both younger and when they came along suddenly it was taboo to be naked in my house.  I think it was because of girls vs boys bodies and also the predominant 60's-70's conservative society.  I think also lot of it was that I was not exposed to nudity at all till I was about 13 and going to PE locker rooms.  The only other dicks I had seen besides mine was my brother's and his was HUGE in relation to mine!  He of course was much bigger and a few years older then me.  I guess I built up in my head that all guys were his size and I was the small guy.  It did not help that my best friend at the time also felt the same way I did and we talked about it with each other.  We mutually agreed that we had the smallest dicks on Earth and then agreed to show each other our junk!  His was indeed smaller than mine in width but not in length.  So imagine our horror when I learned that we would be taking showers with other guys in PE class!  That experience confirmed that we did, indeed, have the smallest dicks on Earth!   I guess that was engrained in my head and I just thought it was taboo to be naked in semi-public situations.  I know that sounds stupid but there it is!  In college, I had roommates that were very open about their bodies and we were naked alot but I was extremely comfortable around them and knew that I was "safe" in their presence....I guess I knew there would be no judgement from them!  That is crazy right?  Anyway, fast forward to about 8 yrs ago, me and a buddy joined a gym....it was the first time I had changed in front of a guy since college.  My friend was hung and had a nice body.  The first day we met in the locker room, it was mental agony as I knew I would have to strip in front of him!  He never said a word and to be honest, was probably not the least bit interested...but that did not change the fact that I thought everyone was staring at me!  Anyway, I guess it became something that I wanted to overcome so I would "force" myself to take showers in the locker room till it became no issue with guys seeing me naked.  And this past summer I went to a gay campground on a clothing optional weekend....I again "forced" myself to be naked and walk thru the campground at night and then again in the day time.  It was very liberating to realize that my hangups were really just that.....just mine and no one elses!  I guess, just as all guys do, analyze my cock and balls way too much.  If I had lower hanging balls then my cock would hang down more....basically it is usually just the head and few inches sticking out over my balls.  I would really like it to be more like yours...where the head hangs below the ball sack!  But I have come to realize that it is what it is!  My son, who is 12, does not have this problem and is going to be a good looking kid in that department.  He actually is slightly embarrassed that his is longer then the other guys his age!  We have had this discussion a few times and I am trying to instill in him that it is OK to be naked and see each other as long as it is not offending anyone else and it is not sexual in nature.  I wish my Dad had told me that when I was 12!   I guess you blame everything on your parents!

Trends and Characteristics

I was stopped at a red light this morning and a 20-something guy in a truck pulled up beside me.  He was one of those fantasy's that you have!   He was shirt-less, nice tan, short hair, nice smile, he was chatting with someone on the phone and laughing up a storm.  I thought for a minute where he was off too, why was he shirtless and why did I not have a body like that?  I am going to start to loss weight, I have to! I look good with the exception of my triple chin and gut!

So I came home and was putzing around on here when I found andy17777 and his great pics.  Just a normal dude like myself.  He had put a few old pics of himself on his page from a few years ago.....and it got me to thinking about when I started to be an exhibitionist.  It was high school....I went to a private, religious high school so the being naked anywhere other then the gym lockerroom was taboo and bad!   So I think it gave me a thrill to defy them and then it just became a habit.  I was not naked alot but I did like it when I was!  It was not sexual in nature, more of a freedom and release. 

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The One that got Away

I went to work early this morning as I had to meet a customer at 8 AM.....so I stopped at my usual Starbucks and standing in line was my past.  He is the one that got away and the one that I think of sometimes late at night when I am lonely.  He is the one, that, if we had to do it all over again, there would be a million things done differently.  Of course, if we had done things differently, I would not have my son today and that would be horrible as I cant imagine my life without my "lil guy".  I think I was just too young to know how to have a relationship and we were trying too hard at wanting a relationship.  At any rate, he placed his order and as he went around to wait for it, our eyes connected and that familiar bright smile came across his face.  We hugged and chatted a few mins until we both had orders, did the "required" chat of "its been too long...give me a call and lets catch up" but we both know that neither of us will call or see each other again until happen-stance happens and we meet unexpectedly.  I left with a smile on my face and a little sadness in my heart.....he is the one that got away.

New Viewers and Stuff

So I am wondering how to get people interested in my blog....I would write more if there was interaction.  I dont do well with thinking up my own stuff....which I guess is the reason for a journal.  I was doing good there for a while trying to post every day.....I need to get back into it.  I also need to lose weight....I joined a gym and need to set the date and goal.  I need incentive.  I actually was thinking of taking full body pics of me and puttting them on here every week to force me to produce results so others would see the progress...not sure that would work.

My son has a friend staying over for the weekend.  He very clearly is moving into puberty much faster then my son....this morning's breakfast conversation was
"Dude, have you had a crush on a girl?" 
   "Nah, that is not my thing.....hey, lets play Call of Duty"
"Dude, when it happens it is the best!"
   "How so?"
"Because you see what you are going to look like when you get old?"
   "Cool, hey lets play Call of Duty"


My son clearly has not entered the phase of his life yet!

Weekend Travels

I took a short family vacation this past weekend up to Orlando....left on Wed and came back last night.  It was soo hot.  And I played golf with my brother in laws in 100 degree heat!  How dumb-ass am I?  But the views(the boys and the landscaping!) on the course were amazing and we had alot of fun. 

The hotel that we stayed at had a waterpark attached to it with a lazy river that wound around the complex, the little guys enjoyed playing in that alot.  And it was nice to jump in when you were hot and wanted to cool off.  Again, some of the sights in the pool were nice.  Sort of wish I was not with my family so that I could have enjoyed even more!

So it is back to work today.  I need to set a date to start back to the gym and also set a goal weight.....I need a support group for weight loss but one that will really work!  So that is my goal for the week. 

20 Again....sort of

Dreams are a strange thing.  I tend to wake from those erry, strange dreams that sometimes happen and have a hard time sleeping again.  That happened tonight, so hear I sit to write.  Tonight's dream involved being back in college with my roommates.  Strange that I have had this dream before, basic concept was that the three of us were back in our apartment....but this time we were all in our 40's but trying to act like we were in our 20's again!  I have had this dream before.  And I wonder why my sub-conciseness congers up this dream every few months or so?  I think it has alot to do with my "coming of age" so to speak.  I wont say that I was a geek or nerd prior to college but I think I came into my "own shell" while I was there and became comfortable with who I was.  I think college does that to everyone to a great degree but to me alot more.  Prior to college, I was part of a click of guys that were the "cool kids" but it was more by circumstance then actually being cool.  I think my personality was my ticket into the group.  I was not the star athlete or the best looking guy or by really any standard the best at anything but my personality would always get me in....I was the life of the party.  In college, EVERYONE was the life of the party.  So I had to really explore me.  My roommates and I developed a very close bond but my one roommate Bill was a like a brother.  There was not much that we did not do together.  We developed a very strange study habit that, to this day, I still think about.  We would pile into a bed with our books, a pizza, and study and talk...usually in our boxer shorts only.  Bill taught me to be very comfortable in my skin.  Very often the subject would turn to sex and that would cause a typical physical reaction to occur....a hard on!  We had no problems with showing each other these things in a very innocent way.  Nothing ever happened and I dont think either of us were looking for anything to happen sexually.  It was all innocent but it really allowed me to realize that I was much more then my personality....I was a young man and discovering someone else that way was very cool.   We discussed our courses of study, college life, home life, girlfriends and just about anything else that was on our minds during those nights.  I think he was equally exploring who he was too.  I find it interesting that we were soo amazingly comfortable with each other that nothing sexual ever occured but we touched each other many times.  I wish we could be that open and honest with our best friends now.  But today, I think we would just be called perverts.  I see Bill every few years now and then and it never fails, we are two college kids again acting like we did not have a care in the world.  I guess when I analyze the dream a little more, maybe my psychy is wanting to find that again.

Career Paths

I often wonder what it is like to be in another line of work.  Not change careers but what if I had taken a different path in life and chosen a different career path.  I always thought if I failed in Architecture School that I could go into advertising....and then for a long while, I thought accounting would be cool.  I dont know but it is fun to think about from time to time!  I would be able to drive a sports car instead of an SUV or truck.....I would be able to take weekends off!  But I dont know, the grass is always greener sort of thing.  But I think, what if........alot!

After a very long day.... It is nice to be home......can anyone say lemon whiskey sours!



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Location:Acklins Rd,West Palm Beach,United States

Ramblings on a Saturday

It has struck me the last few weeks that guys really do like to pull on their junk and I think it is primal instinct for the male species!  I have an 11 yr old son who does the same thing....where did he learn it from?  I have observed all of his little buddies doing it as well!  And then I realized, I do it too!  And all of their fathers seem to pull their junk as well! I was at a neighborhood BBQ last weekend and the guys would give themselves a little pull in very discrete ways but they all did it.  Kind of funny, really.  It is sort of a little tug to just make sure that we have the fullest length possible.  I know  that many years ago when I was in college, there was a myth going around that you could extend your length if you pulled it constantly, something about pulling the "extra" from inside your abdomen....my roommate tried relentlessly for months.....I think he finally realized that the size is the size!

I am still trying to figure out advertise my blog....not sure how to get it out there....last week some anonymous guy asked me a few questions and it was great answering them.....I think that is how you do it, slow and steady.

Being Nude

One of the blogs that I look at on a daily basis is More Ordinary People  it is a cool website and I really enjoy looking at the pics. I often wish there were ways to tell some of them how nice their pics are but I know that would be incredibly hard to put that info with every pic.  But this morning, I was wondering....how many of the pics were staged or was the person really naked doing the mundane tasks that he was doing.  One dude was sawing a piece of lumber in the kitchen....another was digging in the dirt with a shovel.  My question is do they do those things naked all the time and someone happened upon them and took their pic or is it staged?  Some of them I know are staged and it is obvious...but there are others.  I know my buddy and brother have popped in un-announced a few times and caught me with no clothes on...no biggie but I wasnt working on a construction project or digging in a dirt pile!  So I wonder...............

I do have to say that this picture

Got me wondering how comfortable the guy on the left was being nude with the other guys who are a little more hung.  I am like the guy on the left, a grower not a shower....I tend to turtle most of the day with just the head and about an inch or so hanging....there is another pic that shows this dude frontal and his balls are pretty big like mine so his ever hangs below his balls.  It is obvious that he is pretty comfortable with these guys and that is pretty cool.   I have said before, I wish that I could find someone like that to hang with.

Answers to a few Questions

YEAH for me....someone asked questions!  Thanks for reading and inquiring.

I decided to make a post out of it instead of responding in the comments.   Anonymous Brother Bear asked:

Do you have a partner?   No, that is something that I have finally come to terms with that it is conceivable that I will not be lucky in that department.  I have had a few meaningful relationships but not a partner for life.  My situation gets complicated as I have a 12 yr old son that lives with me so guys tend to shy away if kids are involved but I know that ultimately it is more important to give my son a good home then to search for a partner.  Who knows the future holds, I am open to anything.

What's your most intimate memory?  I think a weekend in Key West with a guy that I lived with for about two years back about 12 yrs ago.  We went down for a long weekend with another couple and stayed at Alexander's B & B...it was a great place and I think we were in the bedroom more then anything else that weekend.  It was a perfect weekend.  I stretched my limits by even having a foursome with the other couple, it was really awesome but not something that we wanted to try again but at the time, and in the moment, it was great.

How did you relate to the surfer guys who stripped down to change to dry clothes and not relate to the guys in the cigar bar?  Well I think nostalgia probably played into that alot, I think when you are young, it is easy to make friends in the neighborhood and that just moved to surfing, skiing, swimming....so it was easy to "be" in that group of surfers.  It was the natural progression and I was part of that progression because I was part of them when we were kids.  With the cigar group, we have egos to contend with....everyone is in there own little world and I guess that I would have to go there every night in order to become comfortable and part of their clik.  I think now, guys...especially guys in their 40's....start to size each other up and it is hard to move in because you are bringing alot of baggage with you.  Another friend of mine said that I should make the first move to show them I am a nice guy....I should.

Will you do it on the first date?   Depends on the situation and how we feel about each other.  It is not out of the question but usually not something that happens.

Do you like to have your berries bathed in saliva? UMMM....HELLO....I AM A GUY....OF COURSE!!!

Like your blog, just found it.   Glad you found it...."Follow" me so we can stay in touch....do you have a blog?

Buddies

I was watching a really really bad movie last night called "Lucky Bastard"....it was a terrible movie but the character in it was searching for something and could not find it...he finally discovered that what was missing was a friendship.  I have stated before, I have the most incredible set of friends but would really like to find a special friend that I could hang with, have dinner with, watch a movie but more to.  There are sometimes when you just want to be naked with someone, lay on the couch and watch a movie in each others arms.  There is a guy that cuts my lawn and he often brings his friend with him.  He is always telling me about their adventures in surfing, picking up chicks, drinking, etc.  And he often will mention that they sleep in the same bed when they are drunk.  I think it would be cool to be so close to someone that you were very secure with your bodies and sexualities to be able to shower together, piss together, sleep in the bed...etc....all the while really be friends and not in a sexual relationship.  I think it would be an interesting concept.  Sometimes I just have comments and funny thoughts that I think I would like to share with someone but kind of feel strange telling some of my friends.  I guess that is why I try to blog!  Case in point was this morning, "lil bobby" was looking really nice this morning, kind of semi hard but nicely hung....wish someone had seen it!

Taking Care of Business

I was doing my morning ritual of catching up on the blogs that I read this morning and was reading Straight Jock Talking .  He posed the question of why we like to get caught doing whatever sexually.  One guy commented that that was why we had brothers!  To catch us in the act!  Another guy commented that he liked to get caught in action.  So why is that? Is it because when we were kids learning about jerking it that we thought it was bad and we secretly wanted everyone to know we did it but could tell no one?  I dont know.  I know that I like watching porn that is amateur and created by two guys not when it is staged  with music....I like the real thing.  I think that is all part of it, again, your not supposed to be in the room with them but you are!  You arent supposed to jack off but you do.  Speaking of that, I think I got caught about 4 or 5 times growing up but I will be damned if I did not get caught by my roommate in college at least twice a week!  And I know he did not do it on purpose, we just were on the same schedules and he was always popping into the room quietly.  It really got to be  a joke and by the end of the first year, we both just did it without too much comment.  At night, when it was completely dark, we would both jack off and then say good night to each other!  Weird now, but I kind of miss it.

Balls, Berries,Etc

As a guy we know that there are two things that are very important to us....commonly and collective reffered to as "our junk" , "twigs and berries" , "rod and reel"....what ever you call it...your balls make up half of your "manhood" down there.  I for one love a the scrotum and it contents.  It really is an amazing part of your body as one minute it can be hanging halfway to your knees and the next it can be retracting up into your lungs!  I find that amazing.  Mine are on the bigger end of the spectrum which causes my cock to appear stubbish....but after many years I have realized we are all different and I am not soo paranoid about showing the boys off in the locker room or wherever.  My balls usually stay pretty tight but there are some days when I just like to play and stare at them in the mirror as they are really hanging.  I like to keep them clean shaven even though a little fuzz on them never hurt anyone!

Posting

 I am saddened to read that one of the blogs that I follow is leaving.  Scott Str8 Jock Talking aka The Gayest Str8 Guy  had a great blog and I have to say that I looked forward to reading it every day.  I think I liked it so much because his blogs were very often things I related to or had experience with.  It was a view point from a guy that relalized lifestyles are much more then "I am straight" or "I am gay"....they can be alot in the middle as well.....it is sad that he is leaving but I understand commitments to could give it a good try but I have such a hard time thinking about subject matter.  I mean by that...that I often think of things to write about but it is not always convenient to sit down and write.....so I think, " I will do that later, I will remember the subject matter" but that never happens!

On another front, 5 days till Peru!!!!!!!!!!!  It is hard to imagine that it is winter there!

Discussions

I have 5 followers (YEAH) but now the pressure is on to write something....but what?  So I will ask my 5 followers.....ask me something? anything?  no holds barred....I will answer honestly.  I am happy to have a few guys following but how do  I get more?  So talk to me....I am a pretty friendly guy!

So I go somewhat regularly to a cigar bar that is a little local hole in the wall place. Every Wednesday night they show a movie and I would say the same6 to 8 guys are there. I go in, find a nice cigar, find a spot at the bar and watch the movie. You know never once has any of these guys said two words to me but they talk to each other alot thru the movie. Kind of makes me feel bad not to be included.... Why can't I hang with these guys? How do I get in the club? Do I want to be....I don't know.



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Location:N Dixie Hwy,Lake Worth,United States

A bit on the perv side!

So I am sitting at my desk minding my own beeswax and this is what starts working right outside my window!













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Location:SW 9th St,Boynton Beach,United States

It is simple amazing how depressed I am today and I can't seem to figure why today is any different then yesterday! I watched a movie last night called "Shelter" and I guess it just struck me how alone and lonely I am. I mean I have amazing friends and they would anything in the world for me but at night, it would be nice to know that someone is thinking of me. 99% of the time, I am cool with my present situation but right now, I am not. And who is anyone kidding... We are not getting any younger and it is harder and harder to think I am going to find someone as the years continue to tick along. My worst fear is growing old...alone.


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Location:NW 74th Terrace,Hollywood,United States

Somewhat Gray Area

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New

So this is the view from the new construction project we are starting this week!




-not too shabby! Think I will be doing alot of insite management!

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Location:Florida A1A,West Palm Beach,United States

Less Than Zero

I am a big fan of 80's movies...guess that is because I was "coming of age" back then and so many movies I related with.  St. Elmo's Fire, Pretty in Pink, 16 Candles, and Less Than Zero.  Because I was thinking about earlier days of my youth today, I decided to watch "Less Than Zero" again....what a great movie.  I mean it was incredibly sad because I really could relate to the characters but also because that was so much part of my life at that time.  I have said before, I am not sure how I made thru those years!  I also discovered that I learned my favorite sleeping attire from Andrew McCarthy in the opening few minutes.  I like to sleep with just a shirt on, no underwear....I have often wondered where I got that idea as I know no one that sleeps like that!  Well in the opening minutes of the movie, Andrew's character gets out of bed to answer the phone and he just has a shirt on and is bare ass.....I guess I saw that, tried it and liked it!  Obviously there are other reasons why I like the movie but that was something I had forgotten!

When I was a teenager this stretch of the beach on Palm Beach was a big surfer hangout...the way the beach and a reef out in the water were formed caused some nice sized waves.  My buddies and I would drive down to surf and hang out on the beach.....it was totally different then. 

I remember Sunday mornings being packed with guys and their boards.  When they were finished and getting ready to leave, they would open the car door, strip out of their Sun Britches and change....buck naked right there on the road!  I remember the first time I tried to do it, I chickened and drove home in wet shorts!  I always used the excuse that I forgot my dry clothes.  Shrinkage was a big concern to me and I was completly, 100% sure that everyone was bigger then me!  I knew this because I had seen a few of my buddies and they were alot bigger so I assumed everyone else was as well...little did I know!

 I asked the guy that mows my lawn and is a surfer, if they still did that and but sheepishly said  he did not like to flash his junk so he did not!  He also said the cops are always out looking to give tickets to the guys changing.  The summers in Palm Beach were great because the residents are gone up North...so the town was basically deserted and the beaches were wide open...that was then...Not like that anymore!

Drive Up ATM

This was the sign on a drive up ATM machine at a bank today!



Now think about it, if you are visually impaired...should you be using the drive up lane???

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Suit and Tie

There is a very small part of me(yes, even smaller than that!) that wishes I was a suit and tie guy everyday for work. Construction projects require a different attire but every now and then I think about my life had a been a an architect or engineer! But jeans for me is cool most days!



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Location:S Rosemary Ave,West Palm Beach,United States

Monday

So the pics I had taken last week every night before bed for a buddy I have been talking with I thought turned out pretty nice looking so I sent them to idle eyes and a dormy to be included in his Monday Undies blog.  I have to admit it was kind of cool having them put "out there" for all his followers to see.  I am still sort of shy about my body and very conscious of "sizes" but I am trying to overcome that. 

I have a new follower which I am very excited about!  Now I have 2!  Welcome Kevin.... 

What's your favorite pizza topping?

I like the plain tomatoe, basil and cheese...think it is called a margarita pizza

Ask me anything

Venting

The subject is Venting....

1/ In order to replace a $50 second hand exhaust vent for a lady that lives in a condo on Las Olas in Fort Lauderdale...you have to pull a permit!  That permit cost approx $75 but my time involved in pulling said permit is  $250 plus hiring a HVAC subcontractor to go install it because my guy cant attach the exhaust housing to the hood.  So....the $50 second hand exhaust vent on this women's stove is going to cost her about $500 when all is said and done.  This is why we do things without a permit in South Florida!

I joined this website called formspring.me  ... interesting ....basically it is a place to ask/answer questions.  It generates a question for you to answer every day and then you can comment on it and other peoples answers.  Played with it some and seems kind of fun.

Should I breakdown and join facebook?  My entire family (minus my one brother in law & myself) is on there and the pressure is getting intense.  I have always shyed away from facebook and myspace because you were really really out there!  So I dont know!  I know I could be a hell of a farmer on Farm-ville!

Old school

So I am going old school tonight...if you can call 90's old school.






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Location:Bahia Rd,West Palm Beach,United States

Would you date PAbloontheverge from YouTube? He's so dreamy.

Yes...nice looking...he looks like the guy that cuts my lawn!

Ask me anything

Tonights selection

This post might need a cut! But tonights selection for sleeping!






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Were there people who rejected you when you were fat but came on to you when you lost weight?

Yes, that has happened a few times but the opposite way...I used to be thin in college and have gained weight over the years...so younger in life I was came onto by guys that would not give me the time of day now!!!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/gb4238

Untitled

This is my weekend home!




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Location:S Flagler Dr,West Palm Beach,United States

Pensive and Frustrated

Two words that I dont like but still they haunt me today.  I am pensive because sales revenue this week SUCKS the big one.....something has to be done to motivate the masses to buy crown moulding and new doors for their houses!   I am doing alot of footwork but very little actual purchase agreements which make me a little nervous about this month but happy about June, July and August!    Anyway, let the quoting begin and hopefully something will come along quicker.

I am frustrated with a few things but most of all, I have a friend who is going thru some pretty deep issues...ones that will effect his life as well as the lives of his family .... and he is not seeing the whole picture and about to make some big mistakes.  But what can you do.  It is like watching an alcoholic go down the path to the bottom.  You cant do anything but love the guy and when he is finally at the bottom AND realizes he needs help...be there to help him.

I have really been wanting to email chat with guys about stuff....seems a little more difficult then I thought!  I think the epal email website that I signed up on is basically a way for lonely straight dudes to pick up lonely straight chicks!  So I am going to cancel it today.....  I read all of these blogs on here and would really like to have a cool blog too but my brain doesnt think the same creative way that these guys do.  But I have to say when I am reading theirs, I am usually like, WOW I can relate to that.  I would love to have a great community of bloggers that chat back and forth about all issues.  I am on a forum at Just Us Boys and it is great conversing with the other guys on there.  Very theraputic.

I am going camping this weekend to www.campmars.com  I usually go myself but this weekend I am going with some other guys that I have never gone with before....kind of strange because I met the one guy through work and we kind of both figured out our stories and then discovered we both like going to this campground.  I camp the old fashioned way.....in a tent....of course, I have sleepin bag on an air mattress and there is wireless internet and portable microwave....but I am roughing it! 

Wondering??

 I am wondering why I cant be more open with people about me....specifically my interests of sexuality and the male body, discipline and a few other topics that intrigue me.  I joined a e-pal email website recently and sent out a bunch "pal" requests....I got four responses out of about nine that I sent out and three of them told me they were only interested in communicating with girls......what the hell is wrong with email chatting with another guy?  Even if I was not gay, I still think I would not have a problem with it.  I would love to have a chat with a guy about "guy" things that I often think about....I would love that dialogue back and forth.  This all started back a few months ago when I was asked to a Sadder dinner and the dicussion migrated to talking about our faiths and commonalities....that lead to another conversation, which lead to another conversation about circumcision!(I know it all comes back to issues about the penis!)  Anyway, that lead to another discussion a few days later about being nude with the same sex and being comfortable....the dudes point was that if you were not going to have sex with the other nude person in the room...what is the point of being nude?  I was preplexed because I really dont think that way at all about nudism.  I would think it would just be cool to be that comfortable with someone that you and you could just "hang out".  

Followers!

I have my first follower....I am very excited!  I was wondering if anyone was ever going to follow me!...THANKS "cum.lover"...you made my night!

In other news, I am visiting my Mother and family for the weekend but I do have a longish post I want to get off my chest...probably tomorrow when I get home.

Driving on Good Friday

So what is up with every person in the state of Florida feeling the need to go take a drive today! Good greif...did I miss something?
Oo

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Location:N Congress Ave,Boynton Beach,United States

Oral?

I was listening to Tiffany today and a guy called to say that he does not let his girlfriend blow him as it is degrading to her even thou he will provide oral to her.  Why is it degrading for a girl to give a guy a blowjob?  I dont get it especially since it is soo pleasurable to the guy?  Is it degrading?  I wonder....I know when I am doing it....I dont think it is degrading....I think the guy is liking it and it is all good.

Am I Gay?

So it is raining and I am in the mood to blog....someone asked me earlier this morning if I were gay?  I often bristle at that question....not because I am ashamed of anything but because being gay is a such a small part of who I actually am.  I am many things and gay happens to be one of them.  But I do not think I could be defined as gay in proverbial sense of the term.  I mean, I do like guys and everything about them. I do not think I "act masculine" .... I think I AM masculine.  I think, walk, talk, and act like me!  not anyone else, just me.  The gay pride week was in Lake Worth this weekend and I was simply amazed at all the walks of life that were there.  Many, many, many guys and many of them were just like me and many were not.  I think a few wore their sexuality on there shoulders and it was hugely....what they are.  And there is nothing wrong with that fact....it is just not me!  Others, like myself, feel comfortable being around gay people but really do not "fit in" completely to that crowd as I dont relate to the clubbing scene.  Again that is not to say that "all gay guys go clubbing till all hours of the night"...simply, I think that alot of what worries other people, does not worry me!


I have a very good friend(since I was 16 yr old) who is very religious and struggles with his sexuality every single day.  He is married because he is supposed to be.  He has kids because he is supposed to have kids.   He is a professional because he is supposed to be.  He is miserable and wants to know why?  It is because he is not living his life being comfortable how he is.  I know he struggles with his sexuality because he has told me many times that he has issues with my lifestyle(even though I have not been with anyone in a long time!)  and that he does not believe that is correct.  He asked me one time, what happens when we get to Heaven and you find out that it was NOT OK to be gay....what happens then?  My answer is that no cant predict those things and you have to have Faith that you are being guided properly....I simply know this:  God made me who I am, and God would not have created me as gay IF it were not OK....simple philosophy!  As of late, he has lost his job and now is questioning why my life seems to be going smoothly and his life is soo bumpy.  My answer again is that I think I am walking on the right life path and he is not.  I have told him a few times that I dont understand how he can question my sexuality, think it is wrong but, at the same time, wonder why my life is going so well and his is not.  He has no answer for that.  I think he knows, he just does not want to face the answers....which is resolve to be who you are, no one else....and then you will be happy and get on that right path....whatever that path may be.

Rainy Days

It is raining like mad here in South Florida....think it is retribution for such a great weekend.  Starbucks guy was there this morning looking all hot....why is it that I go in to get my usual adult bevvy and walk out horny!  Now it is all I can think about!  I was also thinking this weekend about the twins who are double's tennis champions.....the were on a news show the other night and claimed that they do everything together...they said even wearing each other's clothes...they said they have one dresser and it has all there stuff combined.  Not sure how I would feel about wearing my brothers underwear!  And do you think that they may play a little with each other....I mean they said they slept in the same bed on tour many times so I am just wondering. 

Still working out a few days a week....have not seen much of an improvement...need to be more motivated and get on with it!

Gym's!

I really dont understand the fascination/pre-occupation that I have with my gym locker room.  It is not erotic..there are no hot guys there....the ones that are naked, are old and flabby...the ones that are young, are all covered up.  So what is my preoccupation with it?  I mean, I have started back working out MWF after work.....it is about 3:15 and I am already thinking about the gym...the locker room specifically!  Why is that?  I mean, I am tormented by be naked in front of other guys(which I am trying to work thru slowly) and all I do is change/keep to myself and get the hell out.....so what is my preoccupation?  Is it just the thought of a fantasy that might happen?  The thought that I might actually find a work out buddy?  I put a CL post online to find a buddy to work out with.....nothing, NADA,....very frustrating. 

But I do have to say that I look descent in the jock I bought a few weeks back....

Censored

So I have been censored from an app, GRINDR, on the Iphone...it is a little issue and I did not think my pic was that offensive. Now I know how the people in Red China feel!


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Pic

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Location:SW 10th St,Boynton Beach,United States

Test

Just put an app on my iPhone for blogpress....checking to see if this works!


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The Movie Humpday

So I watched "Humpday" this evening.  Even though it was a dull movie at times. I have to say it had a really good plot....if you were a straight guy, would you have sex with another straight guy for the sake of art?  And it probed a subject that makes most guys a little uncomfortable...male to male sex. It was a very unique conversation.  Would you go thru with it?

So I have been invited to my first Seder....which I am very excited about.  I love learning about other traditions and religious symbolism so I am very excited about going.  It is the parents of a very dear friend who lives in CO and is very seldom here during that time of the year.  Her parents asked that she make the trip this year and wanted to invite many of her friends to the dinner.  So I have to start thinking about a little gift to take, I looked online at some really nice bees wax candles and I also saw a nice Seder recipe book....something to look for in the coming month!

I was sitting the other night watching a rerun of Friends and thought how nice it would be to have all of my friends here in town to do dinners and movies, etc....how cool would that be!  I have tried a few times to get a group of guys together to have a pot luck dinner but nothing ever seems to come together....I should try it again! 

It is still cold and gloomy down here and it is not supposed to be that way in Florida!  Even when it rains, the sun is usually out!

Anyway, it is Friday, so life is good.

NASCAR and Olympics

I am wondering about the Olympic athletes and NASCAR drivers....does the "10 percent rule concerning sexual perference" apply to these events?  There have always been rumors about various drivers but I wonder....Danny Hamlin and Ryan Neuman are amazingly hot this year!  As for the Olympics...I know there are the typical guys in the figure skating but what about the luge?  or others.

Another thing about NASCAR, wouldn't it be cool if we all had the attitude that these guys have about their work equipment....they always say their vehicle is a fantastic car and doing great on whatever track they are driving that day...they are always positive!  But I guess if I had 50 crew people working in my office equipment every day, mine would be good too!!!

Locker Rooms and Etiquitte

I belong to another forum and a question was posed the other day that often comes to my mind as well.  I go to a gym that has an open locker setup with partitioned showers that do not have curtains.  Has society evolved to where it is not OK for guys to be naked in front of other guys when there is a specific reason such as changing in/out of street/gym attire before/after your workout?  I mean, guys that are around my age still seem to do, what I consider to be appropriate, which is go to there locker and undress completely without much regard to there surroundings, grab a towel and head off to the shower naked.  I saw a younger guy(mid 20's) was actually in the shower with his boxers still on and then proceeded to wrap a towel around his waist(and wet boxers) to walk back his locker.  Once he was there, he tried to change his underwear under the towel!  And he is not the only one, I have seen other guys do that too....are we too that point in society where we are so homophobic that guys cant just be guys?  To be honest, I think you draw more attention to yourself trying not to be seen.  I know that I had a phobia of locker rooms when I was in my 30's but I stayed away from them...plain and simple...I knew that if I were to be in them...that I would be exposing my body parts to people and I, in general, felt uncomfortable doing that  but I did not go into them.  Sort of like going into a cigar bar....you know there is going to be cigar smoke there and you know you are going to smell like a cigar when you leave....so you dont go in if you have issues with that.

On another note, it is rainy and cloudy here and this is not what South Florida is supposed to be about. 

Thoughts

So I was sitting a little cigar bar last night minding my own business and this guy a few seats down started talking about the fact that Obama will not survive his first year of office without being ousted for being non-qualified for the office.  His stance is that Obama is not a natural born citizen as he had dual citzenship until he was 9 or 10 and then decided to become a US citizen at 10 yrs old.  His theory is that people will catch on and he will have to resign.  I dont know if that is true or not....but I would think that someone would have verified his credentials to hold the office....I am almost sure that there is a government office that is supposed to check out these things.  So whether you agree with him or not, I think he is probably there in a properly qualified manner!  This guy was very concerned that we (the other guys sitting there) were not more concerned about this serious breech of office.

I have discovered that I like the group or artist "Pink"  and I especially like the "Glitter in the Air" song....it is very cool.

And finally, I am getting very partial to the A minor key on the piano.

Rugby Players

Why are rugby players so comfortable with being naked around each other?  I mean, why does it seem that everytime you see rugby players after a game, they are drunk, singing and taking their clothes off?  I got no issues with it....I am just saying????

Stuff and More Stuff!

Why do I have some much stuff???? Because I shop...I forget I have the stuff and buy more stuff! Today I cleaned out my "wrapping paper closet" (doesnt everyone have a closet like this??) I counted 23 rolls of unopened christmas paper rolls!!! 23! That is crazy...I wont have to buy paper for the rest of my life BUT I promise you next year I will be there with the 50,000 other people buying it half price at Target the day after Christmas. I also have about 50 different present bags....again....dont ever need to buy anymore. I just need to remember that I have all this stuff next Christmas! But I wont, I know it. Today was the perfect day to clean house as it was cloudy and gloomy....sort of good sleeping weather as well as cleaning weather! Hopefully tomorrow will be nice and I can do something outside.

Playboy Channel on Sirius XM

I have a confession...and since very few people read this...it is OK to confess here! I truly enjoy listening to Playboy radio, in particular, the afternoon show with Tiffany Grannith. Why, I dont know....it is not erotic and I dont get off listening to them but there is something about listening to the other callers that just get me going. I think it is that they are freely and openly talking about sexual situations and it is something that I dont ever do with anyone I know personally. So when I am listening, I am thinking "Wow, I have thought that or felt that way too." I think it is strange that a gay guy is listening to a bunch of straight people talk about sex but I am amazed at the issues that are out there!

When Boys Fly

Saw the film/doc last night of "When Boys Fly"...very interesting look at the White Party Circuit guys and what they go thru....very intriguing as it has always been something that I have stayed away for some reason....I think because I do not really fit into that society easily. And just as one of the guys on there said, it was not his scene but he was forcing himself to go and see for himself. It was eye-opening to him and what he realized was that they were all friends and something was lacking in his life. Two things that he said were very relevant I thought. One, that more people needed to be as happy and care free as these people were at this event...there would be fair less trouble in the world. And Two, that he was lacking a group of gay friends for him to relate to in his "real world"

It was a great short film and very thought provoking.

I Start

So I start this blog hoping that I will be able to keep up with it and meet some new friends thru this cyber community that seems to be popular. I think I consider myself to be a loner even though I am not sure why as I am always around people. It is interesting that I think about the strangest of things at the strangest times. And I am preplexed about talking about them because it instantly "establishes" a persona that may not be true at all. For instance, I often wonder about what types of underwear that guys wear....now, does that make me a prevert or am I just curious? I think it is more of just wanting to know....I am a huge people watcher and I guess it is just a game I play with myself. I dont ever want to act upon it but I often try to think what they are wearing....but if I "blog" about that subject, it is going to be an issue and people will think less of me. Then I pose the question...why do I care? I shouldn't but I do!

So there you go, I have started.....